Not the God I Know

The more I read in the Old Testament, the more sick I get.  I just don't understand how this is the God that I've come to know. He hardens Pharoh's heart when Moses tells him to let his people go. How is he held accountable for actions that it seems God forced upon him?  "But I will make Pharoh's heart stubborn so I can multiply miraculous signs and wonders in the land of Egypt" Ex 7:3. Mother's first born boys were slaughtered for this. It wasn't Pharoh's fault, it was God's and all for "showing off" his power to Israel. I have a hard time understanding that.  That was a couple weeks ago's reading.

Then last week I was reading in Ex 23 about God's directions to Moses. He says they're to invade the land of the Amorite, Hittites, Perizzites, Cannanites, Hivites, and Jebusites to live there. God tells Moses to "utterly destroy them." Again, this sickens me. God created all people, right? So why would he favor only one nation of people (who, by the way, rebel against him over and over) and allow them to destroy all the other nations of people. Are not all people God's creation? I don't understand. Is the Old Testament really inspired of God? Or is it written by power hungry, land hungry, pride seeking men? 

Does God change his mind?

It seems to me that he does, in several ways.

In Exodus 32, when Moses is up on the mountain with God, the people of Israel are down below, making and worshiping idols of gold and indulging in "pagan revelry." God, jealous and filled with fierce anger, tells Moses to leave him alone so that he can destroy the people. Moses, however, "pacifies the Lord" and essentially persuades God to change his mind.

I don't find an issue with God changing his mind (not that I should ever have issue really with what God decides to do); in fact, I think it highlights our ability to intercede for one another, which is a great gift. However, what I read in Psalms today contradicts this notion of a God who changes his mind.  Psalm 33:11 "But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken." Thanks, David (I think), but I believe Moses might disagree with you on that one. So what is it?

I know I can't have all the answers, and I'm okay with mystery, but sometimes it's nice to nail down some concrete beliefs. I don't know that this one piece is absolutely essential, but currently in my personal search, I just feel like everything I'm grabbing for has this fleeting existence, and I can't take hold of anything. I go from this small question to the bigger question, if God changes his mind, can we also lose salvation? What does that look like? What does salvation really mean? And on and on... so this is my attempt to begin searching for these answers and re-evaluate the foundation of my beliefs.