Annoyed in Psalms

In one breath David appeals to God, "Have mercy on me. Heal me, for I have sinned against you" (Psalm 41:4) Then in the next breath he claims to be innocent (v. 12).  Perhaps David is not really sure about what he's praying. I've definitely heard people pray like that before, they go on and on, using lots of words but making little sense.  David does, however, say something that makes a lot of sense, "Lord, have mercy on me. Make me well again, so I can pay them back!" (v. 10). This is in response to his enemies who gossip and whisper about him. It makes sense because I can understand wanting revenge. But there's something gross about it. Have mercy on me so I can get revenge. Really? Is that a plea God would/should listen to?

I'm enjoying the Psalms a lot less than I thought I would. Almost all of them sound the same- have mercy on me, save me from my enemies, crush my enemies, raise me up, preserve my life, blah…blah…blah. I've begun to almost just skim them because I'm completely unimpressed with the psalmist's, usually David's, obsessive self-centeredness and feeling of self-importance.

That's not to say there are some spectacular Psalms, they're just few are far between.

Strange Healing

Jesus walks on water and calms the it with the wave of his hand, he heals people who simply touch his cloak, and with mere words he tells the lame to walk, the demons to leave, and dead to rise. So if he can perform miracles with such little effort, why does he have to stick a couple fingers in the ears of a deaf man with a speech impediment and another couple of spit-covered fingers on his tongue to heal him? It seems so convoluted compared to the rest of his miracles.  (Mark 7:32-35)

I suppose he may have just wanted to do something different that day. Or maybe this man didn't have the same faith as the others Jesus had performed miracles on. I don't know, but it was an interesting contrast.

Ouch

Imagine if Jesus compared you to a dog. I think I'd be pretty offended. I certainly wouldn't care to hear anything he had to say after that. When the Gentile woman in Tyre asked him to cast out the demon in his daughter, that's exactly what he said to her. "'First I should feed the children- my own family, the Jews. It isn't right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs'" (Mark 7:27) Ouch!

The woman doesn't react as I would have. Instead she replies, "That's true, Lord, but even the dogs under the table are allowed to eat the scraps from the children's plates."

It seems so harsh, to compare her to the dogs. Right? I forget who Mark was written for, who the original audience was. I wonder if that would have something to do with this degrading comment made to the woman. Or maybe I'm just taking this too personally…

The Scapegoat

I've heard this word before and maybe I knew it came from the Bible but I didn't know where until this morning. It's actually a very strange command that Moses and Aaron are given. They must first find two male goats. Then sacred lots are cast to determine which will be the sin offering and which will be the scapegoat. Once that is determined, the sin offering is slaughtered and its blood is used to purify the Tabernacle. The second goat, the scapegoat, is then brought into the Tabernacle, Aaron lays his hands on the goat's head, and he confesses all of Israel's wickedness, rebellion and sin. Then the goat is brought out into the wilderness and let go.

I'm not sure why this story stands out to me; perhaps it's because the last 20 chapters or so that I've read have been about sacrificing animals and people being unclean. There's something more profound in this story. The goat, walking around with all of Israel's sin, is left to wander alive in the wilderness. I wonder why this is. What's the significance of this goat? Why does one have to be slaughtered first?

Jesus- A Little More Like It

Mark 2:22 "And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the wine would burst the wineskins, and the win and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins."  --in response to the Pharisee's question why the disciples don't fast like John's disciples and the Pharisees

Mark 3:5 "He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts."

Switching back and forth between the Old and the New Testament has highlighted things I might have missed otherwise. I've been spending the last week or so immersed in the rules and laws of Leviticus. It's exhausting (not to mention nauseating) reading all the laws regarding sin and sacrifice.  The law was incredibly rigid. So when we jump forward 8,000 (or so?) years to the time that Jesus walked and taught, how surprising is it that the teachers of the law have hardened hearts, they've been teaching and following these rigid laws for thousands of generations. 

I wrote a couple posts ago about the God of the Old Testament not being the God I thought I knew. The Jesus we see here in Mark, though, comes closed to who I thought God was. (I'd like to say, of course, that I don't claim to know exactly who God is, but what I've come to believe about God is what I am referring to.) He's taken the old law and thrown it out? He's come to replace it, right? He's the new wine. And though the hardened hearts of the Pharisees make him angry, it also saddens him. There's compassion in the sadness. This is the God I believe in.

Could they possibly be the same? How can there be such a rigid dichotomy between the two if they are one and the same?

The Lord merely spoke,
   and the heavens were created.
He breathed the word,
   and all the stars were born.
He assigned the sea its boundaries
   and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs.

                                Psalm 33:6-7

Not the God I Know

The more I read in the Old Testament, the more sick I get.  I just don't understand how this is the God that I've come to know. He hardens Pharoh's heart when Moses tells him to let his people go. How is he held accountable for actions that it seems God forced upon him?  "But I will make Pharoh's heart stubborn so I can multiply miraculous signs and wonders in the land of Egypt" Ex 7:3. Mother's first born boys were slaughtered for this. It wasn't Pharoh's fault, it was God's and all for "showing off" his power to Israel. I have a hard time understanding that.  That was a couple weeks ago's reading.

Then last week I was reading in Ex 23 about God's directions to Moses. He says they're to invade the land of the Amorite, Hittites, Perizzites, Cannanites, Hivites, and Jebusites to live there. God tells Moses to "utterly destroy them." Again, this sickens me. God created all people, right? So why would he favor only one nation of people (who, by the way, rebel against him over and over) and allow them to destroy all the other nations of people. Are not all people God's creation? I don't understand. Is the Old Testament really inspired of God? Or is it written by power hungry, land hungry, pride seeking men? 

Face to Face with Moses and Elijah

Imagine being the disciples.  If we're to believe the stories in the gospels are true, this one really gets me!  Matthew Chapter 17.  Jesus takes them up on a mountain.  Keeping in mind these guys were just regular guys going about their daily life when they met Jesus.  So now they're on the top of this mountain and Moses and Elijah show up!  Then God speaks from a cloud (with, I imagine, a thundering voice)!  That's crazy business!  I'd be on my face, too.  

Biblical times were so much more radical that what we have going on today.  Things like that never happen in our day.  Why is that? 

Does God change his mind?

It seems to me that he does, in several ways.

In Exodus 32, when Moses is up on the mountain with God, the people of Israel are down below, making and worshiping idols of gold and indulging in "pagan revelry." God, jealous and filled with fierce anger, tells Moses to leave him alone so that he can destroy the people. Moses, however, "pacifies the Lord" and essentially persuades God to change his mind.

I don't find an issue with God changing his mind (not that I should ever have issue really with what God decides to do); in fact, I think it highlights our ability to intercede for one another, which is a great gift. However, what I read in Psalms today contradicts this notion of a God who changes his mind.  Psalm 33:11 "But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken." Thanks, David (I think), but I believe Moses might disagree with you on that one. So what is it?

I know I can't have all the answers, and I'm okay with mystery, but sometimes it's nice to nail down some concrete beliefs. I don't know that this one piece is absolutely essential, but currently in my personal search, I just feel like everything I'm grabbing for has this fleeting existence, and I can't take hold of anything. I go from this small question to the bigger question, if God changes his mind, can we also lose salvation? What does that look like? What does salvation really mean? And on and on... so this is my attempt to begin searching for these answers and re-evaluate the foundation of my beliefs.

The Idea

So here's what I'm thinking:

1. We'll read through the Bible in a year
2. Post thoughts and questions as authors of the blog
3. Respond to each others' thoughts and questions in the comments section
4. The project can grow as others become interested- just email me and I can add you to the authors list-- deannajamison4@gmail.com
5. I'm certainly open to other suggestions if you have them